The Local Fry, Baltimore, Saturday Evening

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

Well, it had finally happened. After weeks and weeks of hoping, dreaming, even yearning for the opportunity; after flirting with it, dancing around it, and coming within a hairsbreadth of it several times over, Cal's dream had finally come true:

He had beaten Arden at Paintball again.

More than that, even, he'd come in first place, beating the entire class. And, to properly celebrate this momentous occasion, Arden had decided that none of the restaurants on the island would do. They needed to go somewhere special, not somewhere they could order takeout from on the regular. At first, she'd planned to head into Roswell and see what kind of places they had available, but stepping out into the vast wilderness of sand dunes had her quickly spinning on her heels and deciding that, nope, a portal would do them just fine.

As good a time as ever to check out a restaurant she'd noticed in Baltimore when she'd gone to get her tattoo, no?

And so, come dinnertime, Cal and Arden found themselves in Baltimore, the skyline weird without Fandom's distinctive silhouette on it, ordering all the fries their bodies had room for.

A pity that Fandom had taken this week to go a-wandering. The lack of the island at their backs might have clued them in that they hadn't taken a portal to the island's Baltimore, but to Arden's.

[For the gent with the droid and NFB for distance!]

Comments

[moreofaponchoguy]

Cal had trusted that Arden would find a location suitable for his stomach, and the way he was drooling over the menu proved his trust had been well-placed. "I think one of my favorite things about Earth is the sheer number of different cheeses you all have," he said. "Is there really a cheese that's blue?"

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"Lines of blue in it," Arden said. "From the special mold that makes it."

When put like that, Arden had no idea how people had invented cheese in the first place and actually decided to eat it, but she was grateful that they had.

"What do you think? Maybe get three or four different types and share? Or do you want your own all to yourself?" she teased.

[moreofaponchoguy]

"For you, I'm willing to share," Cal said. "That way we can rate each one together and see which one comes out on top. I might want to get one to go at the end though, for the walk back from the portal."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"Aww, Cal, willing to share with little old me?" Arden asked, batting her eyelashes at him, really playing up her drawl though not quite to 'Cayl' levels yet. "Sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me."

A moment when she was flirtatiously looking up into his eyes, then it was broken by a laugh.

"If you get the buffalo chicken fries for the walk home, you can rest assured I won't try to eat any of that," she offered. "Because, goddess, these all sound so good. The Korean barbecue cheese steak one sounds like heaven, but I'm afraid to order it because I wanna prove I can eat more than just barbeque. The banh mi then? Oooh, or maybe the asada...?"

Too many good choices. It was a problem.

[moreofaponchoguy]

"I was also eyeing the banh mi and asada ones, so we should definitely pick those. Is buffalo chicken not good?" Cal asked, snickering softly. "Or did I ruin it with asking about the blue cheese?"

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"Did I never tell you that?" Arden asked. "I don't eat chicken. At all. Or anything made from bird or poultry."

She glanced around, though the restaurant was only really half-full anyway, and their nearest neighbors being two men deep in some kind of personal conversation. "Because of the thing," she said. "My thing. You know? It feels wrong. Makes me sick to my stomach. Swap in those tofu bites they've got here, though, and I'm back in, blue cheese and all."

[moreofaponchoguy]

"Oh, that's right. I thought maybe it was a different type of chicken. Buffalos are huge and furry, right?" Cal said, glancing over the menu again. "I won't shame you for sticking to any of the barbecue ones either. If anyone asks, I'll say we tried lots of new and exciting things."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"Huh--oh!" Arden grinned, understanding the issue now. "That's buffalo sauce. Buffalo sauce on chicken makes buffalo chicken. Like how you can have chicken-fried steak. Weird name for stuff."

Her smile smile turned soft, fond. "What do you say...three fries to share now and one to head home with? We're celebrating your win over the whole class, it's totally worth splurging for."

[moreofaponchoguy]

Well, now Cal was more confused. "So... sauce made out of buffalos makes buffalo chicken and... frying steak in something from chickens makes chicken-fried steak?" Oh Earth, why couldn't you just call things what they were?

"I think three to share sounds like a good plan. We can energize before seeing how things go next week. I can only imagine how weird the play area will be."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"It's not made out of buffalos?" Arden said, at the very end of her knowledge. "Maybe it was meant to go on buffalos?"

Children, you have the sum of human knowledge in your pockets.

In the other booty, the men having their deep discussion glanced over to them, clearly also interested in the buffalo discourse.

[moreofaponchoguy]

Cal laughed and pulled his phone out. "Okay, I've got to get to the bottom of this while you take care of the order," he said. He tapped away on his phone, subtly reaching out through the Force as he realized they'd been noticed. It was possible they just looked very dumb, or were talking too loud, but getting a sense of their intentions would be a good start.

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

Arden, on the other hand, was just having a great time out. She gestured to the waitress, putting in three orders of the fries and two sodas, completely clueless. She'd noticed the guys in the booth when they'd come in and then promptly forgotten about them.

From those men, however, Cal was getting a lot more information. Curiosity. Relief. Amusement. Greed.

Recognition.

And all of it centered on Arden, who was currently turning back to him, saying, "You're my witness. I'm getting a Coke and not a sweet tea."

[moreofaponchoguy]

"I'm so proud of you for branching out," Cal said. For a moment, he debated not saying anything, not wanting to ruin the night when they were having so much fun, but Arden's safety mattered more than anything else. "Okay, let's see..."

He trailed off for a moment, typing on his phone, before lighting up. "Oh, you've got to check this out," he said, handing her his phone, where he had the Notes app open. Keep laughing. Guys next to us recognize you. I have a bad feeling.

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

Arden's eyes got big and it was all she could do not to sputter Me?! and turn to look. But she hadn't been trained for years to look normal and unassuming under any circumstance to give it up now.

Though her fake laughter was pretty lackluster as she handed the phone back over to him and her eyes were wide and nervous when she met his, like a wild doe on the verge of flight.

He could see plainly on her face What do we do?

[moreofaponchoguy]

"I think I could make this sauce, now that I know I don't need a buffalo first," he said calmly. He wanted to try to really extend his calm to her, but he didn't want to do anything unusual besides handing her his phone again. "You know my cooking skills, what do you think?"

This time, the note said, Go to the restroom and see if there's a window? I'll keep an eye on them.

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"Glad to know I won't need to get you a buffalo," Arden said, her smile fixed. "I'm gonna go was my hands, be right back."

She slid out of their booth in kind of a stiff-legged walk towards the bathrooms.

A few seconds later, one of the men got up, too, also casually strolling in that direction.

[moreofaponchoguy]

Cal waited a moment and muttered to himself, "Probably a good idea, this is going to get messy," and got up as well to trail after the man and Arden, doing his best to look like he hadn't noticed anything strange.

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

There wasn't a window in the ladies room, but Arden did take a second in there anyway. Washed her hands, splashed water on her face. "Maybe he's wrong," she told her reflection. "Just be cool. Go back to the table. Say I'm not feeling well. We get up, we go, we portal home, we celebrate with Mooby's and laugh about being paranoid. All good."

Any vestige of hope that Arden had about that being true was blown out of the water when she opened the bathroom door and smelled burnt marshmallows, mixed with thyme. An elf. Probably a half-elf, it was so weak, but definitely an elf.

"Hey cutie," he said, leaning against the wall across from the ladies. "What do you say you ditch the ginger and come hang with me instead?"

"Hard pass," Arden muttered, attempting to slide past him without touching.

"Well, there went your chance of doing it the easy way," he said, grabbing her arm and shoving her back into the bathroom. Even a half-elf he had greater speed and strength than any mortal and Arden's back was slammed into the far wall of the bathroom in seconds.

"I don't know w-what you think you're doing," she said. "But we're in a public place. What's your game plan here?"

She wished she sounded cool and badass here, but even to herself, she sounded weak and afraid, and that wasn't even counting the way her voice quavered on 'what.'

He smiled in a way that wasn't particularly pleasant. "Real simple," he said. "My partner makes a distraction. I use that cover for your extraction. And I do that by any means necessary."

"Look, I'm just trying to have dinner with a friend," she said desperately. "I don't know what this is about--money? I can give you money..."

"Yeah, not as much as I can get for you," he retorted. And then the fire alarm started going off, flashing lights and a calm, recorded voice asking everyone to vacate the area. The half-elf looked at Arden and grinned. "Time to go."

[moreofaponchoguy]

Cal tried to find a good, balanced speed between rushing and not looking suspicious as he followed, but he picked up the pace once he could sense the altercation. He pushed the bathroom door open, and looked back and forth between the two of them, his eyes narrowing as he saw the man's hands on Arden. "Hey, isn't this the ladies' room? You should let her go and get out of here," he said, with a tone that suggested this was the one chance the guy was going to get.

When the fire alarm went off, he rolled his eyes. "Uh oh, now it really sounds like you need to leave."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"Hey there, bud," the half-elf sneered. "I think you're the one in the wrong place at the wrong time."

So saying, he put a little extra kick into his 'Don't Look At Me' spell. He doubted it would affect this mortal fully, since he knew something was amiss, but hopefully it would be a bother, long enough to get one good punch in. One punch was generally all he needed to put humans in their places.

He shoved the target back against the wall, hard enough to make her cry out as her body slammed into unforgiving tile, and then turned towards the human.

"Last chance to fuck off," he said. "Write this one off as a loss and get yourself a new girlfriend."

[moreofaponchoguy]

The feeling of some kind of magic trying to mess with him would have been hilarious if it was just the two of them, but seeing the guy shove Arden like she was nothing snapped the last of Cal's reserves.

To the half-elf (and Arden, since he couldn't keep her out of the blast of Force energy that came from him, sorry!) it would feel like the whole world slowed down. The beeping of the alarm lengthened and groaned as Cal shot over and punched the guy in the face hard enough to knock him out. Everything snapshotted back to normal just as quickly, and Cal grabbed Arden's arm to keep her upright. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

Arden blinked up at Cal in surprise. "What just--the world slowed--bruised some, but I'll be--"

Her careful way of walking and the spider webbing of cracks in the tile behind her suggested that she was a little worse off than 'bruised some' but she'd been hurt worse and when they got out into the fresh air that would help.

"We should go," she said. "Even that kind of punch won't keep a low-blood down for long."

It was deja-vu all over again when she opened the bathroom door and smelled Othersider, this time a strong musk. "Were!" she yelped as a long arm, covered in hair and ending in sharp talons grabbed her by the arm and yanked. She stumbled into the much-larger body of the other man with almost the same amount of force that she'd been shoved against the wall with. "Ooof," she groaned.

Not a good day for Arden.

Whatever the were was going to say changed, his face shifting rapidly towards lupine, but still human enough to show his surprise and confusion. He sniffed the air, picking her up of the ground by the arm to get a better scent. "What are you?" he asked, tongue coming out to lick up her face as she dangled in the air.

[moreofaponchoguy]

Cal was going to have a long talk with Arden about the kinds of people who wanted to hurt her, because the creepiness and face licking hadn't been part of what he imagined. "She's not food, so keep your mouth to yourself," he said, putting more force than was probably necessary into the punch he delivered to the creature's stomach.

He didn't want Arden to get scratched if he could avoid it, and he pulled her away and got between them. "The real question is, what are you and who told you not to get a haircut?" He dodged the angry talons that came his way and kicked the were through the bathroom door to fall on top of the other man.

It was so nice when enemies piled themselves up, it made Cal feel extra skilled.

"I guess we should have ordered our food to go!" Sorry Arden, he couldn't be serious when he was getting to fight awful people, this was what he was made for. He reached for her hand and held it tightly. "Stick with me, okay?"

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"O-okay," Arden said, a little dazed. This had all been so fast. Her back and shoulders were sore, the first bruises only just starting to form and already both of her attackers were down?

That thought cut through her whirlwind thoughts. The were wasn't going to be down for more than a minute or so, not without silver, and the half-elf not much longer than that. They needed to leave and she was woolgathering.

She squeezed his hand and nodded. "Of course. You won't let them get me." Faith, simple as that.

[moreofaponchoguy]

Cal broke into a grin and squeezed her hand back. "I won't let them get you," he verified. Leading the way through the restaurant, he paused at the door to see if he could sense any danger, but the way seemed clear and he got them outside. "Can you call and make sure our portal's ready? It'll be great if those guys wake up and we've just disappeared."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"Gonna have to be a whole new one," Arden said. "The waitress probably hadn't even put our order in before the fire alarm went off."

All that and they hadn't even been able to eat! She appreciated Cal putting on a brave face throughout all of this, like tonight hadn't been a complete disaster.

They entered into the busy street, avoiding the knot of worried patrons and staff clustered around the restaurant, the sound of sirens in the distance, and continued on.

"The were will be able to track me until we go through it," she said, swiping at her damp cheek with the back of her hand before pulling her phone out and tapping on the Portalocity app. "So hopefully they don't give us a hard time about rescheduling."

If they did, Arden was just going to buy a whole new pair of tickets, whatever. They needed to leave.

"Are you okay?"

[moreofaponchoguy]

"I'm not the one who got licked and thrown around," Cal pointed out. "If Portalocity won't let you reschedule, let me yell at them." He took the opportunity to look at her back, wincing at the bruises peeking out from her shirt. "I'm sorry about having you go ahead on your own, we should have just run together from the start. If hope they feel twice as bad as you do when they wake up."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

She looked sideways at him. "You're apologizing for not getting me away good enough, when you're the only reason I got away at all?" she asked. "I wouldn't even have noticed those guys, never mind realized that they were there for me."

She shivered, even in the heat. That had been way, way, way too close.

Her phone beeped. "Okay, I've got the new location. Portal will be opening there in three minutes." She glanced around for the appropriate cross street and started leading them there. "Cal, I'm so so sorry about dinner."

[moreofaponchoguy]

"You think I care about dinner? I got to give people who don't like you the kind of treatment they deserve. I haven't gotten to fight anyone in a while, and I was worried I was going to be rusty, but I've still got it." He gave her a smile and tucked his arm through hers as they headed away. "What matters is that we get you back to safety."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

Arden blinked at him, eyes wide. She'd rarely heard Cal sound like this - a kind of calm confidence that came not from arrogance but a thorough appraisal and testing of his skills. "Wait - were you having fun?" she sputtered, not judging but baffled.

He was just so...relaxed and casual that she forgot that he'd spent the better part of his life training to be a warrior.

[moreofaponchoguy]

The sheepish smile probably answered that question for him. "If I say yes, would that be bad? I mean, I'm supposed to be diplomatic and not resort to violence unless it's the last resort," he said, with the kind of practiced tone that showed he'd been taught that over, and over. "But those guys were going to hurt you. They did hurt you. And hopefully they'll think twice before going after you or anyone like you again."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"It's not bad," Arden assured him. "Makes me feel less guilty about bailing on dinner like ten seconds after putting the order in." She glanced back towards the restaurant and huddled a little closer, like a duckling. She was quiet for a few feet. "You said they recognized me?"

[moreofaponchoguy]

"You haven't bailed on dinner yet. We should make sure you eat something when we get back." And, you know, he could eat too, but that seemed less vital at the moment. "I don't know if they recognized you specifically, but they seemed to know you were special, and did not have good feelings about that."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"There is no scenario where I like that," Arden said, hunching over a little bit. "I...don't know what I would have done if you weren't here. For real, Cal, thank you."

She stopped in her tracks as she realized something.

"You stayed," she said. "You stayed. For me."

[moreofaponchoguy]

"Well yeah, what was I supposed do, say 'Uh oh, looks like Arden's in trouble, I should definitely flee and not take the chance to punch these guys.'"

Cal laughed at himself for a moment before taking in her expression and growing more serious, and more angry. "Of course I stayed. Anyone with half an ounce of decency would have stayed. Do you really, truly think I would have left? Because that reflects more on what type of person you think I am than whatever crap you've been taught about yourself."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"No, Cal, no," Arden said. "It's not that, it's..." She faltered. "You've said - everybody's said - but I never..."

How could she make him understand something that she couldn't even find good words to explain?

"Never mind," she said quietly. "Sorry, I didn't mean--I just meant thank you. That's all."

[moreofaponchoguy]

"When you're ready to talk about this, and I'm not hyped up on adrenaline, we're going to have a calm discussion about how you think about yourself." That kind of hypocrisy would ruin Jedi Christmas, after all. He got them walking again and smiled at her. "You can thank me more when we're back on the island and stuffing our faces with... I don't know, maybe Thai? I think we deserve some good spice."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

"Thai is good," Arden agreed, as the portal appeared in front of them, a sudden hole in space. "Anything on the island sounds good, honestly."

Or, at least, away from Baltimore.

She couldn't help but shoot one last nervous glance over her shoulder before stepping through. The street behind them remained empty, though who know how much longer that would be true for?

"Let's go."

[moreofaponchoguy]

Cal wasted no time in ushering her through the portal - carefully, to avoid where she'd been pushed - and made sure the portal closed behind them before continuing on. "Maybe we can get fries too, if you're still having a craving."

[afraid_of_marshmallows]

It was roughly two minutes, no more than three, after the portal had closed that the half-elf and the were came into view.

"The trail stops here," the were said, sniffing the air.

"Stops? What do you mean, stops?" the half-elf demanded. "Find it!"

"There's nothing there to be found," the were said. "It's like they just vanished. Both of 'em."

"The boss isn't gonna like that," the half-elf said. "Not a big fan of failure, that one."

The were shrugged. "Nothing much I can do. If it's gone, it's gone. At least we got some intel. The girl was here. Has an ally." He rubbed his jaw. "Some kind of Othersider. No human can hit that hard, not to mention whatever weird time bullshit he pulled with you."

The half-elf nodded. "Call the boss," he said. "Tell her all that and see if she has new instructions." The were rolled his eyes at his companion's obvious foisting off of unpleasant duties, but pulled out his phone anyway. He wasn't wrong, though that wasn't the most important reason the half-elf had put the call to Callista on the were's shoulders. While he was getting reamed for losing her property, the half-elf was making a call of his own.

"Hello, sir, it's me," he said when the call connected. "I have some information the Duskwatch might be interested in..."